verbatim

i, like many of you, watched tina fey's genius impersonation last night on snl. if you haven't seen it, please catch it on nbc.com or hulu.com
what i hadn't realized was that much of it was verbatim of the actual interview with couric.

here it is verbatim from cbs news:

COURIC: Why isn't it better, Governor Palin, to spend $700 billion helping middle-class families who are struggling with health care, housing, gas and groceries; allow them to spend more and put more money into the economy instead of helping these big financial institutions that played a role in creating this mess?

PALIN: That's why I say I, like every American I'm speaking with, were ill about this position that we have been put in where it is the taxpayers looking to bail out. But ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health-care reform that is needed to help shore up our economy, helping the—it's got to be all about job creation, too, shoring up our economy and putting it back on the right track. So health-care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions and tax relief for Americans. And trade, we've got to see trade as opportunity, not as a competitive, scary thing. But one in five jobs being created in the trade sector today, we've got to look at that as more opportunity. All those things under the umbrella of job creation. This bailout is a part of that.

wow. it kind of sounds like me after a few hendricks martinis.

r.i.p.

the world just became a little less beautiful.
a class act

chloris

so, in the three minutes that i watched dancing with the stars, she tried to bribe the judges, called one of them a bitch and insulted another, cause he wasn't speaking english. and i'm pretty sure she said "fuck that" when her scores were shown.
it's on.

pronunciation

am i the only voter out there who cares about the pronunciation of the country that we are at war with (currently), the country we are about to be at war with, and the country that we used to like but may, at some point, be at war with eventually?
cause this is how it stands with the mccain camp (and most of america):
1. EYE-rack.
2. EYE-ran.
3. PACK-eee-stan.
at least obama knows how to pronounce them. is that the first line of diplomacy?
the second, of course, is... where is the bathroom? that weird middle eastern food went right thru me....

world's biggest douche

karma is a bitch.
oh, and ps. he is a lawyer.

tee hee

from huff post reader:

Since Palin has foreign policy experience due to being able to see Russia from an Alaskan island it makes me wonder if she has had diplomatic talks with Santa Clause being so close to the North Pole.

words i like better than "outraged"

i've really begun to hate this word. everyone i know and don't know seems to be using it these days. although i share their sentiment, i think it's time to check my handy thesaurus and try to help:
1. umbrageous.
2. mortacorpuscled.
3. tipple-miffed.
4. snaggle-tooth-tiggerred
6. perstinkaterd.
7. omfgaufs. (ohmyfuckinggodareuserious)
8. wrangletastic.
9. disembowelled.
10.mcschwiggeded.

ok, that last one i kind of made up, but it's that feeling you get after a few pints, right before you start to feel outraged and your friends have to pull you out of the bar kicking and screaming.

suck it merriam-webster.

classy

anyone notice that the "baby-daddy" last night was chewing gum for the big family finale? don't the republicans have wranglers for that kind of thing? can't someone hold his gum for him while he waves, proudly holding (gripping) the hand of his meal ticket?
his parents should be ashamed. he should be grounded.

why girlz like vampires

i have just read 5 books in the last two weeks about vampires. 3 totally tasty, short and nasty books by charlie huston, and 2 really long books that awakened the v.c. andrews in me (aka twilight, etc).
so here are my thoughts. apologies to the authors for my crude musings.

1. girls like boyz who might, at one point, suck their blood.
2. vampires are always thin.
3. they never get older.
4. they are usually wracked with guilt.
5. they are teases.
6. they are usually way older, even tho they don't look it.
7. they come with really complicated "baggage."
8. they try "really hard" to be polite.
9. they are usually snarky. yet so WISE.
10. they could kill you. if they wanted to. but, usually, they don't.

hmmm...so who actually created the vampire myth? bram stoker or helen gurley brown? or more importantly, is helen gurley brown the oldest living-dead lady vampyre?
dude. look at her. terrifying.