operation santa

this year the post office made it way more difficult. i completely understand their reasoning. last year i had the name and address of my gift recipient, and i google earthed it. crazy, i know, but i wanted to know where my boxes were going. during that time, the postal service suspended their policy, shut down the operation for a few days and changed their strategy. now i can't go to the neighborhood post office (which i wouldn't do anyway, i go to greenpoint) but must head to midtown to mail gifts with a "process number" and the post office sends to the recipient. this year i took a letter from a mom with wishes for her kids. thankfully eben and his office friends are helping out.
however, i must mention the first letter i read. she wanted a 40gb ipod, not white, but black. she made drawings and specifications: not itouch, not ipod, not mini. this girl was on a mission. needless to say, i passed her 2006ish wish...
here is the letter i chose in its entirety, and once again it breaks my heart (verbatim, including spelling, except i don't know how to put circles over i's):

"Dear Santa
I am writing this lettr in hope that you can bring some happines to our home.

I am Mother of 2 children.

Cruz is 8 yrs. old, he is a size 9 in clothes in shoes he is is a (size 3) he wants the following board games Sorry, Monopoly city, wheel of fortune and rotating globe light. toys pokeman pokedex, uno, hot wheels playset helicopter. Backpack of Mario, books Diary of a wimpy kid.

Evelyn: is 6 yrs old she is a size 7 in clothes. in shoes she is a (size 13) wants the toys, Barbie princess castle, cinderella Doll of Hannah Montanta, Hello Kitty she wants the board game of let's go fishin. Book: of Hello Kitty. Back pack of violin.

I am extremely greatful your cooperation in helping us have gread christmas.

Thank you for taking your time to read this."

i'm hoping we get everything on this list. if not, i will be crushed. but i've already purchased stuff for the mom. cause everyone needs a christmas now and then.

WTF?

although it gets kind of great towards the end.

the wire.

10 minutes of goodness:

comedy records.

it's no secret that i have a huge crush on zach galafianakis. i could watch between two ferns on a loop for hours. so, i was watching his live at the purple onion on the netflix and began thinking back on old comedy albums i used to listen to as a kid. as i remember it, and perhaps my memory is a little shady, eddie murphy's delirious was the first full length comedy video i ever saw. it was hilarious. i loved it and it changed comedy for me forever. but all this got me to thinking about the albums i loved listening to as a kid.
first of all, i must credit my father (and my mother for allowing it) for letting us watch and listen to comedy that was totally inappropriate for children. i still remember sitting at the bottom of my parents bed watching SNL on their crappy black and white tv and laughing until i was crying, not because i totally got the humor, but because i knew it was funny. george carlin, richard pryor and, of course, steve martin were huge highlights of my early snl experience. it also helped that we watched it as a family, and listening to my father laugh was like manna from heaven. (let it be noted that he also took me alone with him to see the shining, which scared the crap out of me. i was 12.)
some of my favorite holiday and birthday memories are from comedy albums that he would buy us as kids. we would all sit in the family room and play them over and over, laughing until we pee'd ourselves. a few years ago i was given a gift of bob newhart's book, i shouldn't be doing this and a cd of his comedy recordings. it was brilliant. again, i listened to it over and over and now i have no idea where it is.
i miss the days of listening to comedy, sitting with friends or family and just busting a gut over how funny a comedian is. i would rather burn my finger prints off than go to a comedy show, but i would give up what is left of my liver to listen again to the likes of let's get small or live on the sunset strip.

i love him.

Can't Tell Me Nothin' from Zach Galifianakis

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what i want for christmas

cause it's never too early to start my list to santa.

also not a mannequin

frothy

just this morning i was looking on line to buy one of those mini-electric frothers for milk. it's getting chilly and i love a hot latte or a home made hot chocolate with foamy milk on top. i don't like paying 3 bucks a pop. then i saw this on seriouseats.
we can do this people!

my exhaustive review

last night's concert may have been one of the most exhausting musical experiences i have had. granted, i did not sit down the entire 3 plus hours and that, in and of itself, is a miracle. i'm an old lady. i don't like standing at venues anymore, but when you have the sexiest 60 year old strutting, jumping, growling, screaming and rocking on stage to a sold out show, you better keep your ass out of that seat.
first, i have to remark on the seats: vip box seats, just above the floor, to the left of the stage with our own waitress. (thanks eben!) we were close enough to see bruce's sweaty underbite. HOT!
second, i have never seen so many white middle aged people together since a barack obama rally.
now, i knew it was going to be a long night. i mean, the river is 20 frickin songs long and bruce usually plays a long show. well, last night, he did not disappoint. it was long. and it was awesome.
there are a few tracks on the river that i had planned as designated pee breaks, but i found that even the less than stellar ones like crush on you left me standing and singing at full volume. i love this album, but will admit i have skipped over a few on the itouch. it does have a few of my very favorites, and they are, of course, the sad lonely songs that inspired his writing on nebraska: independence day, (so beautifully performed- quiet and simple), stolen car and of course the titular song. (one of my favorites cause it references my hometown, johnstown) i also totally lerve the ties that bind, hungry heart, cadillac ranch and ramrod and crowd pleaser, sherry darling. he started off with wrecking ball, written for his last shows at giants stadium, which i kind of enjoy. it's not on my top 20, but a great way to start the night.
bruce set up the evening with a short story about how the album came to be and the reasons they were doing these album nights and then just launched right in, no protracted set-up, no nostalgic trip down memory lane. they just shot out like a cannon and did not stop until the album was over. the dude didn't rest once. a few water breaks between cuts and that was it. hell, even patty left the stage for awhile, i'm assuming to do her hair, or to check on bruce's life insurance policies. i'll save my patty rant for another time.
well, of course it didn't stop there. a truly eclectic selection and some crowd favorites. but it wasn't all rabble rousing. he did one of my ALL TIMERS atlantic city and then closed the night with can't help falling in love and higher and higher. i will admit that i ducked out during dancing in the dark to pee (which i thought was suitable).
we walked out through the crowds with our ears ringing, our voices shot and just wandered midtown for about 10 blocks before we realized where we were.
it was truly an amazing night. i think it was THE BEST CONCERT I HAVE EVER BEEN TO IN MY LIFE.
and i'm pretty sure that while i was dancing my old white lady dance, bruce pointed to me and smiled and told me that he loved me. he made sure that patty had left the stage. he ain't no dummy.
and the end.

Dogs who want to kill themselves

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO...

WTWTA

i love this story. it is one of my favorite children's books. it is right up there with the giving tree. saw it opening night on my birfday. we got there late and ended up in the second row. but somehow, that was a great place to be. here are my thoughts:

1. i like spike jonze
a. b/c of his name, which may or may not be based on the awesome hollywood composer and satirist spike jones, a compatriot to ernie kovacs who i grew up listening to.
b. his chris walken video.
2. SJ fought long and hard to make his vision happen.
3. dave eggers, who we can normally hate for his mcsweeney's hipsterdom, does a damn good and simple job here
4. catherine keener. she has the most thankless job; she's got to be the angry mom. but she does it in the best possible way...she is frustrated and embarrassed, yet you can feel her love for that kid like crazy.
5. Max is totally believable. a real kid. not an actor. and i like his name: MAX RECORDS.
6. there is something deeply sad about this boy's fantasy. maybe this is not a film for kids.
7. i cried like a baby.
8. even before max left the island.
9. the reconnection with his mom. (did not miss the whole thing about him never leaving the room)
10. WHOOO...HOOOOO...WHOOOO...that is me howling like max and the wild things....

my new favorite

website is regretsy. these are actual items found on the website etsy.com, a usually lovely site that offers homemade crafts for sale. just terrific, here is one of my favorites:

this is not a mannequin

another delicious way to stop your heart

skillet mac & cheese. wow. i think i may have gained 3 lbs just looking at the recipe.
(via seriouseats.com and food52.com)
i'm pretty sure mine will include bacon.

the informant

i had high hopes for this movie. i really like soderbergh's movies (except the girlfriend experiment, which was total, total garbage). i had listened to an interview with MD and soderbergh on fresh air, and then i listened to this american life's episode they did years ago. turns out, this episode inspired the making of the film. it's a fascinating story of greed, conspiracy and total lunacy. however, the film, underscored by a twinkling marvin hamlisch soundtrack, tries to mix whimsy with a hard-cutting look at worldwide price-fixing. i find the whole tongue-in-cheek approach to be pretty annoying. it only became interesting toward the end, when we see the degree to which damon's character just spins out of control. but do yourself a favor. save the $12.50 (!) and download the podcast for free here.

peter coyote

maybe it's me, but i could listen to him read a phone book. and this show is his perfect medium.

senescence

def:
1. the state of being old : the process of becoming old
2. the growth phase in a plant or plant part (as a leaf) from full maturity to death

i kind of love this word. just read it today in the this article. i had to look it up. i have decided i will only use it in terms of its 2nd definition because it truly is STILL a growth phase. i really do believe the following is true (even if i don't like her sentence structure):
..."But most women, I think, end up taking these feelings in stride. Most women in their 40s, however conflicted, however sometimes confused, aren’t actually spiraling into self-doubting despair, but are actually working their way toward some greater degree of self-acceptance. Many experience — along with the shift in body mass that pulls things down and pushes them sideways — a kind of psychic shift that frees up some of the energy that once went into external appearances. Many come into their own, creatively, professionally. And in motherhood, in friendships, in romantic relationships."

it has been my experience that the older my women friends become, the more interesting and sexy they are. this, of course, could also be my reaction to my friend brian's bon mot, "well, you had a good run."

another common weight gain indicator

you own more black sweatpants than actual "pants".

another common economic indicator

british version:

and the winner for grandparent of the year...