rabbit angstrom is a prick.

so is holden caulfield. i know it's sacrilege, but it's true. i'm so over the "salinger mystique." i re-read catcher after his death, like thousands of us did, while in the midst of reading rabbit, run. yet a book that i REALLY love, franny and zooey, is hardly ever mentioned. it is by far, salinger's best work; intimate, intense and dreadfully uncomfortable. i suppose the same could be said for updike's series. but like salinger, i prefer updike's short stories and incredibly sentient literary criticisms and his beautiful essays (Hub Fans Bid Kid Adieu is awesome! and i hate the red sox.)
don't get me wrong. i'm a huge fan of the anti-hero. i love richard yates, cheever, walker percy, and even richard ford. but all of these books are filled with characters, events, and literary detail that deserve thoughtful inquiry.
maybe it is my gender (and age) but i'm over the man-child.

i can only hope

this dog is named rupert pupkin.


image from petswhowanttokillthemselves.

"In The Loop"

Just a sampling of the genius behind this movie:

Simon Foster: Tobes, I don't want to have to read you the riot act but I am going to have to read you some extracts from the riot act, like section one, paragraph one: don't leave your boss twisting in the wind and then burst in late, smelling like a pissed seaside donkey.

Toby Wright: Look, alright, I was late for the meeting, Simon, I am sorry, but it's not like I threw up in there, is it?

Simon Foster: No, you're right, I'm being unfair. I should be thanking you for not throwing up. Well done, you're a star. You didn't wet yourself, did you? You're in the right city. You didn't say anything overtly racist. You didn't pull your cock out and start plucking it and shouting "Willy Banjo". No, I'm being really unfair. You'd got so much right, without actually being there in the beginning of one of the most important moments of my career. Thanks, you're a legend.

stuffed portobello mushrooms

i'm no vegetarian. i've tried. but i've become inspired by my friend, livininthegspot and i'm trying to limit my meats intake. here is one of my favorites, cause it feels like you're eating the meats, but you're not! it's super easy, and you can use whatever veggies you may have in the fridge. the most important and delicious part is the cheese. that is something i will NEVER be able to give up.

Stuffed Portobello Mushrooms


2 Portobello mushrooms
1 T olive oil
3 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 of an onion, chopped
1/2 of red pepper, yellow pepper chopped
1/2 yellow squash, chopped
2 small tomatoes, seeded and chopped (or half can of drained, diced tomatoes)
1 bunch of fresh spinach, cleaned and trimmed
1/2 tsp each, basil, oregano
pinch of crushed red pepper
kosher salt, pepper to taste
1/4ish cup grated good parmesan
several slices fresh mozzerella cheese
fresh basil (optional)

1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. (i used the toaster oven) Remove the stem and gills from the mushroom.
2. Brush the mushrooms with a little oil and put on a foiled cookie sheet.
3. Heat olive oil in a small saute pan. Add the onions and peppers. Cook until tender. Add in garlic, then squash. Cook until tender.
4. Add in tomatoes and spinach. Add seasonings to taste. Cook until spinach wilted and "cooked."
5. Divide the filling and stuff the mushrooms.
6. Sprinkle grated parmesan on top. Cook for about 10/15 minutes or until cheese begins to melt.
7. Add slices of fresh mozzarella on top and set to broil. When the mozzerella begins to bubble and brown, take out and sprinkle with fresh basil.
8. Serve it up over a few spinach greens, they start to wilt while eating. Delicious.

three fingers

i totally just got, after watching a frank sinatra movie, what a "three finger" drink means. before, i could never understand that drink order. why would someone want a bartender to put three fingers in their drink? wouldn't that pour be over the glass and be unsanitary? and wouldn't it depend on the length of said bartender's fingers?
i'm stupid. and the end.

(not yet) vanishing new york

a great audio/slide show of my neighborhood cheese store and the proprietress.

stoner

a highly over-looked book. sent to me by my friend e. because she felt so strongly about the book. this was my original response to her after reading about 80 pages:
"is this book going to be relentlessly depressing? it's beautiful, but so
far he has a failed family life, what seems to be a future failed academic
life and a failed marriage. tell me there is some light in this."
her response:
" no. there is no light. but i think it's his relentless HONESTY and
stoicism that saves the book from being depressing somehow. it's a near
PERFECT book somehow...."

it took another 20 pages to realize she was right.
the first paragraph gives us the summary of his academic life and his legacy. then you roll back the layers of his real life. they are both tragic and hopeful. it makes you think of every obituary ever written. what is a good life? what is an honest life? what are we willing to give up? and what are we not willing to give up?

read it. and the end.

beginnings and endings

my friend erica told me that she did an exercise where she wrote down everything of note that she did last year. she found it really productive. i think this is a great exercise. she also mentioned that she got really resentful while doing it, which i totally understand. but by the end, it was really helpful. i'm going to start working on my list. i'd be interested in knowing yours...

operation santa

this year the post office made it way more difficult. i completely understand their reasoning. last year i had the name and address of my gift recipient, and i google earthed it. crazy, i know, but i wanted to know where my boxes were going. during that time, the postal service suspended their policy, shut down the operation for a few days and changed their strategy. now i can't go to the neighborhood post office (which i wouldn't do anyway, i go to greenpoint) but must head to midtown to mail gifts with a "process number" and the post office sends to the recipient. this year i took a letter from a mom with wishes for her kids. thankfully eben and his office friends are helping out.
however, i must mention the first letter i read. she wanted a 40gb ipod, not white, but black. she made drawings and specifications: not itouch, not ipod, not mini. this girl was on a mission. needless to say, i passed her 2006ish wish...
here is the letter i chose in its entirety, and once again it breaks my heart (verbatim, including spelling, except i don't know how to put circles over i's):

"Dear Santa
I am writing this lettr in hope that you can bring some happines to our home.

I am Mother of 2 children.

Cruz is 8 yrs. old, he is a size 9 in clothes in shoes he is is a (size 3) he wants the following board games Sorry, Monopoly city, wheel of fortune and rotating globe light. toys pokeman pokedex, uno, hot wheels playset helicopter. Backpack of Mario, books Diary of a wimpy kid.

Evelyn: is 6 yrs old she is a size 7 in clothes. in shoes she is a (size 13) wants the toys, Barbie princess castle, cinderella Doll of Hannah Montanta, Hello Kitty she wants the board game of let's go fishin. Book: of Hello Kitty. Back pack of violin.

I am extremely greatful your cooperation in helping us have gread christmas.

Thank you for taking your time to read this."

i'm hoping we get everything on this list. if not, i will be crushed. but i've already purchased stuff for the mom. cause everyone needs a christmas now and then.

WTF?

although it gets kind of great towards the end.

the wire.

10 minutes of goodness:

comedy records.

it's no secret that i have a huge crush on zach galafianakis. i could watch between two ferns on a loop for hours. so, i was watching his live at the purple onion on the netflix and began thinking back on old comedy albums i used to listen to as a kid. as i remember it, and perhaps my memory is a little shady, eddie murphy's delirious was the first full length comedy video i ever saw. it was hilarious. i loved it and it changed comedy for me forever. but all this got me to thinking about the albums i loved listening to as a kid.
first of all, i must credit my father (and my mother for allowing it) for letting us watch and listen to comedy that was totally inappropriate for children. i still remember sitting at the bottom of my parents bed watching SNL on their crappy black and white tv and laughing until i was crying, not because i totally got the humor, but because i knew it was funny. george carlin, richard pryor and, of course, steve martin were huge highlights of my early snl experience. it also helped that we watched it as a family, and listening to my father laugh was like manna from heaven. (let it be noted that he also took me alone with him to see the shining, which scared the crap out of me. i was 12.)
some of my favorite holiday and birthday memories are from comedy albums that he would buy us as kids. we would all sit in the family room and play them over and over, laughing until we pee'd ourselves. a few years ago i was given a gift of bob newhart's book, i shouldn't be doing this and a cd of his comedy recordings. it was brilliant. again, i listened to it over and over and now i have no idea where it is.
i miss the days of listening to comedy, sitting with friends or family and just busting a gut over how funny a comedian is. i would rather burn my finger prints off than go to a comedy show, but i would give up what is left of my liver to listen again to the likes of let's get small or live on the sunset strip.

i love him.

Can't Tell Me Nothin' from Zach Galifianakis

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what i want for christmas

cause it's never too early to start my list to santa.

also not a mannequin

frothy

just this morning i was looking on line to buy one of those mini-electric frothers for milk. it's getting chilly and i love a hot latte or a home made hot chocolate with foamy milk on top. i don't like paying 3 bucks a pop. then i saw this on seriouseats.
we can do this people!

my exhaustive review

last night's concert may have been one of the most exhausting musical experiences i have had. granted, i did not sit down the entire 3 plus hours and that, in and of itself, is a miracle. i'm an old lady. i don't like standing at venues anymore, but when you have the sexiest 60 year old strutting, jumping, growling, screaming and rocking on stage to a sold out show, you better keep your ass out of that seat.
first, i have to remark on the seats: vip box seats, just above the floor, to the left of the stage with our own waitress. (thanks eben!) we were close enough to see bruce's sweaty underbite. HOT!
second, i have never seen so many white middle aged people together since a barack obama rally.
now, i knew it was going to be a long night. i mean, the river is 20 frickin songs long and bruce usually plays a long show. well, last night, he did not disappoint. it was long. and it was awesome.
there are a few tracks on the river that i had planned as designated pee breaks, but i found that even the less than stellar ones like crush on you left me standing and singing at full volume. i love this album, but will admit i have skipped over a few on the itouch. it does have a few of my very favorites, and they are, of course, the sad lonely songs that inspired his writing on nebraska: independence day, (so beautifully performed- quiet and simple), stolen car and of course the titular song. (one of my favorites cause it references my hometown, johnstown) i also totally lerve the ties that bind, hungry heart, cadillac ranch and ramrod and crowd pleaser, sherry darling. he started off with wrecking ball, written for his last shows at giants stadium, which i kind of enjoy. it's not on my top 20, but a great way to start the night.
bruce set up the evening with a short story about how the album came to be and the reasons they were doing these album nights and then just launched right in, no protracted set-up, no nostalgic trip down memory lane. they just shot out like a cannon and did not stop until the album was over. the dude didn't rest once. a few water breaks between cuts and that was it. hell, even patty left the stage for awhile, i'm assuming to do her hair, or to check on bruce's life insurance policies. i'll save my patty rant for another time.
well, of course it didn't stop there. a truly eclectic selection and some crowd favorites. but it wasn't all rabble rousing. he did one of my ALL TIMERS atlantic city and then closed the night with can't help falling in love and higher and higher. i will admit that i ducked out during dancing in the dark to pee (which i thought was suitable).
we walked out through the crowds with our ears ringing, our voices shot and just wandered midtown for about 10 blocks before we realized where we were.
it was truly an amazing night. i think it was THE BEST CONCERT I HAVE EVER BEEN TO IN MY LIFE.
and i'm pretty sure that while i was dancing my old white lady dance, bruce pointed to me and smiled and told me that he loved me. he made sure that patty had left the stage. he ain't no dummy.
and the end.

Dogs who want to kill themselves

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO...

WTWTA

i love this story. it is one of my favorite children's books. it is right up there with the giving tree. saw it opening night on my birfday. we got there late and ended up in the second row. but somehow, that was a great place to be. here are my thoughts:

1. i like spike jonze
a. b/c of his name, which may or may not be based on the awesome hollywood composer and satirist spike jones, a compatriot to ernie kovacs who i grew up listening to.
b. his chris walken video.
2. SJ fought long and hard to make his vision happen.
3. dave eggers, who we can normally hate for his mcsweeney's hipsterdom, does a damn good and simple job here
4. catherine keener. she has the most thankless job; she's got to be the angry mom. but she does it in the best possible way...she is frustrated and embarrassed, yet you can feel her love for that kid like crazy.
5. Max is totally believable. a real kid. not an actor. and i like his name: MAX RECORDS.
6. there is something deeply sad about this boy's fantasy. maybe this is not a film for kids.
7. i cried like a baby.
8. even before max left the island.
9. the reconnection with his mom. (did not miss the whole thing about him never leaving the room)
10. WHOOO...HOOOOO...WHOOOO...that is me howling like max and the wild things....

my new favorite

website is regretsy. these are actual items found on the website etsy.com, a usually lovely site that offers homemade crafts for sale. just terrific, here is one of my favorites: