Monday, July 27, 2009


very funny and interesting bit. truly, truly incoherent.

here is a gem that is truly hilarious, via
"In the winter time it's the frozen road that is competing with the view of ice fogged frigid beauty, the cold though, doesn't it split the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs?"

Gawker's critique: "It's like Peggy Noonan, Jack London, and William Faulkner wandered into the woods with three buttons of peyote and one typewriter, and only this speech emerged."

Monday, July 20, 2009

awkward teenage photo #1

suck it criss angel. that's david m.f. copperfield. and his popped collar. and a fern.

my new favorite summer cocktail

two parts cherry lemonade (recipe to follow)
one parts hendricks gin
one parts lemon/lime seltzer
over ice.

Cherry Lemonade

- makes 2 quarts of lemonade -

1 1/4 cups water
3/4 cup sugar
1 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice (about 6 large lemons)
6 cups cold water
1/2 pound cherries, pitted and halved

1. Bring 1 1/4 cups water to a boil in a small pan. Once boiling, turn off heat, and stir in sugar until dissolved.

2. Combine sugar mixture, lemon juice, and 6 cups cold water in a pitcher. Add cherries and let sit in refrigerator for a few hours, until chilled.

3. Stir and serve, scooping a few cherries into your drink after you pour.

fun ways to waste time

when the weather is not cooperating. some of my favorites are on the list. you decide. i especially love this one.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

the memorial

i'm embarrassed to say that while i was in midtown i ducked into chevy's to watch the mj memorial service. it seemed kind of fitting to be in a grotesquely designed tourist trap to watch this spectacle. and what's not to love about a $16 dollar plate of nachos?

now, having been to my fair share of funerals (i have a well stocked closet full of black dresses), i would like to offer my critique of today's festivities.

things not to do at a funeral/memorial service:
1. you are not allowed to chew gum at your dad's funeral.
2. if you are the father of the deceased, you should take your damn hat off, asshole.
3. sunglasses are not acceptable inside darkly lit auditoriums.
4. don't fake cry. it's totally embarrassing. and you will go to hell.
5. you are not allowed to pose for pictures, red-carpet style, before the service.
6. you cannot make claims that are not true (see al sharpton's line about Live-Aid).
7. back up singers are not to be used as a substitute for the deceased's performance.
8. if you are going to go on stage and sing the lyrics to the deceased's songs, know the fucking words.