passing judgment

i have not seen "the diving bell"...yet, and i have a feeling i will enjoy it but, dude, julian schnabel seems like such a DOUCHE. lose the pajamas. hugh already did it... with aplomb. schnabel looks like some scary drunken uncle who sits on your parents couch and eats beans from a can.
he's so self-congratulatory that he doesn't have enough hands to pat himself on the back. it's hard to watch an "artist" who is such a star-fucker. if i had to sit next to this guy at a dinner party i would cut both of my ears off with a butter knife before the second course.
and his art (other than his films) sucks.

jesus camp

I've been having a hard time shaking this movie, jesus camp. for the first half hour i sat back, smug as a cocktail party know-it-all. it's so easy to judge these people: overweight moms wearing jorts, lady pastors preaching against harry potter and his warlocks, saying prayers to protect powerpoint presentations "in jesus' name." but as this film went on i started falling in love with these kids. it is so shocking to see children caring about anything these days, let alone be moved, really moved. clearly the level of manipulation is freakishly cultish, and i had jim jones flashbacks, but these are good and smart kids who want nothing more than to spread the teachings of christ which, of course, they don't understand. it brought back memories of "right to life" posters i made in grade school and how taken i was with the movement as a 10 year old.
it is the parents that are the real horrors. one home-schooling session involved the merits of creationism and why global warming is a hoax...out of an actual textbook. and talk about smug. the level of self-righteousness is blinding.
i am continually amazed by the intractability of people- conservatives, liberals, evangelicals, atheists, you name it. i've seen brilliantly worded arguments fall on deaf ears so many times, people who simply talk over each other. i suppose that's why i've stopped watching sunday news shows. it's just so fucking depressing.
by the end of this movie i was truly sad, terrified and moved at the same time.
here is the bump:
young rachel: "it's like we're being trained as warriors, but more fun."

oh the horror.

this is kind of amazing and totally gross. leave it to the germans.

http://gizmodo.com/350091/cheeseburger-in-a-can-is-both-the-best-and-worst-thing-ive-ever-seen

this makes me happy

http://www.jonlajoie.com/video/eng.php

i still don't know how to add video, so you have to copy and paste i guess.

eastern promises (the review)

a list of the hottest people in order of their hotness:
1. armin mueller-stahl. (because no matter what film or ethnicity he engages in, he will be the hottest).
2. the 1st guy that gets his throat slashed.
3. the girl who dies.
4. everyone after that.
i'm sorry, but i wanted to totally lerve this film. i have had a crush on viggo since a walk on the moon. i've listened to viggo and cronenberg on terry gross. i've read the gleaming reviews, and then ordered it on the netflix.
so, i must say, not so much. there is no real reveal at the end. everything is prescription-movie-by-the-book. and to be honest, for cronenberg, i was expecting a little more blood.
and ps. that russian bath scene, not enough cock shots to make it even worth an R rating.

the proposition quote

" i'm on the job now and what is an irishman, but a nigger turned inside out."

the proposition

any film written by nick cave deserves my attention.
AMAZING. other than no country for old men it was the best film i've seen all year. like a robert alltman film for any generation....so slow, so evil...it's crazy. like a nick cave song, but much, much, longer. sad and hilarious and morbidly dark..!
you would be doing y' all a dis-favor if you don't see this film.

american idyll

the worst that america has to offer. if ever radical islam has an argument, this is it. i'm so glad that i'm not abroad. i would be embarrassed and say i was canadian.
the secret to finding the next american idol is in the pre-show video clip. it is a computer generated asexual being that would be blown away if it showed its face on halo.

the american stage

being semi-retired, i rarely see theatre these days unless it's free. it's a shame because for the first time in a very long while there really are alot of plays i want to see. i think in the last month i've seen two productions. of the two, sybil kempson's crime or emergency was a stand-out (it was also free). if you ever have a chance to see ms. kempson's work you should. it was like watching an off-meds, bi-polar judy garland show channeling bruce springsteen thru a one person buzby berkley musical greek tragedy, with more wit and energy than you can shake a stick at. and she's totally hot.
but now the not-so-hot. i went to see crimes of the heart last night at the roundabout, directed by kathleen turner. maybe because i've done the play it was hard for me to judge objectively. but it was just dreary. the performances were lackluster and no one was listening to each other. i couldn't tell what story they were trying to tell. it just felt limp and bloated, much like the directrix who was seated in front of us.
now this was a preview performance, and directors are supposed to watch and take notes...in the BACK of the house, so no one can see them and so they don't draw attention from audience members. sister brought her roundhouse right up to the front, getting up and down during the performance. it was like, "where's my close-up?"
i have to say tho, she was more entertaining.

things i'm too old to do

1. wear pigtails.
2. understand or care what facebook is.
3. care what happens to britney y'all.
4. have a blog.
5. rock blue eyeshadow.
6. drink hooch and wake up fresh the next morning.
7. not care about my credit report.
8. eat mcdonald's two days in a row.
9. meet friends past 10 pm....actually 9:30.
10. not own slippers.
but i still love hello kitty!

priceless

OVERHEARDINNY gem:

Lady on cell: The outfit that I really want only works with beer bottles.

--Duane Reade, 111th & Broadway

david hare on joan didion

"one of her extraordinary qualities is the glacially perfect prose which contains fantastic feeling underneath a formal surface."
the story of my and her life.

moneyquote 2

"It's strange how the simple things in life go on while we become more difficult."
again, Richard Brautigan.

moneyquote

"i think we have the power to transform our lives into brand-new instantaneous rituals that we calmly act out when something hard comes up that we must do.
we become like theaters."
richard brautigan.

protandrous

a great word:
the capability of changing one's sex. (i.e. oysters)

change

this word "change" has been bandied about so much over this election season that it has really been starting to get to me. i suppose because i'm looking to make "change" too. not for a buck but that would be nice too.
i've always been such a proponent of doing things new, to take advantage of whatever comes ones way, to make choices that propel change. i used to think that to be complacent was the lowest form of lazyness. complacency is what happens when you wait to die.
but recently, well to be honest, for the last 8 months, that is exactly what i've been doing. waiting. waiting for "something" to change, taking half-assed attempts at creating a new life. and each day i wake up and think, "this is the first day of my life"(as the song goes) and nothing ever happens. i used to wake up and think, "well, things can't be worse today than they were yesterday. please let something good happen. for once." luckily, those days have passed.
i had a shrink tell me once that there is no such thing as lazyness, that lazyness takes just as much energy, if not more, than action. it's just that it is black energy and it eats away our power to do anything positive or challenging.
i'd like to change that.

banksy via wien

perhaps the whole banksy thing is over but i saw this on a corner in vienna last spring. i don't know what the translation is or if it's just a banksy knockoff but grafitti is really the only visual arts i enjoy anymore. i especially enjoy subway "photo-editing" of current tv, movie and radio morning show program ads. that and photography. i could look at william eggleston photos 24/7.

ballmore

as any addicted fan of the wire will tell you, this is the best show on television. i'm even considering doing a new play because it's being produced in baltimore.

i don't have cable. i don't have tivo. i've got a cheap subscription to netflix that fulfills all my needs. it has fulfilled my deadwood needs, my rome needs, my big love needs and my the wire needs. but today i went to walk my goddog and goddamn if i didn't sit at retotted's for three hours and watch the first three episodes of season 5 on in demand. i would now give up what is left of my ovaries to have in demand.

cluttercutter

went to price a job in schwanky larchmont for an organization business my friend and i have been trying to get off the ground (for over a year now). it's something i'm good at and it's design plus i get to use my ocd for monetary gain... got there, and after i was practically mauled by the golden retriever, i entered the lovely, gated home.
yeah, well, i'm alive to tell you that even in westchester, people live like hermetic pig farmers. i'm talking about a relatively new, multimillion dollar home that looked like, on the inside, something out of grey gardens. but without the cats. or the wit. or the style. and for that matter, the bouviers. long may they reign.

first day of my life

i love this video and this song. i don't care who knows it.

juno. et al.

so, after much media hype i went to see this film. of course, it was my second choice, after seeing Atonement (which i will go into later). and being a tuesday, and after an audition for a play that i don't want to do, and after a film (Atonement) that i was not that grand on seeing, i went. cause i knew the time, i snuck in (aka a double feature). i Love 42nd street e-(see as many movies as you want, cause no one cares)walk.
i'm sorry. but ellen page, is just annoying. i saw her in that pedophilia movie, hard candy, and she was annoying, but i gave it up to her being a psycho-killer. in this she just tries to be precious. and when you're talking about teen pregnancy, or any unwanted pregnancy, preciousness is not the go to. it just fucking sucks. and black humor is the only way to go. but i found her unbearable. at one point she referenced soopy sayles. and forgive me if i spell his name wrong, but nobody, and i mean NOBODY, knows who soopy is under 30. that is a reference best left dead. HELLO the LIAR's CLUB? the dude had a page boy haircut, and his only lasting influence on me was never do a gameshow with paneling and "know how to lie and be funny about it." words to live by, but no one under 30, or really, under 35, would know that. let' s be honest.
and the only thing i could think of while watching this precious movie was, when will cat power sing a song? and sure enough shit, she did. when did chan become such a shill? hello commercials.
and by the way, any one who loved mcewen's ability to subvert the novel, and take you back and forth between fiction and FICTION and actually keep you guessing....don't even bother seeing this heavy-handed, dr. zhivago ridden crap. it's like a badly written pbs evelyn waugh saga. read Amsterdam and do yourself a favor.

tech help

i don't know how to add this into my paragraph, so maybe someone bloggier than i will tell me how you do that highlighted link thing. but i've been a sullivan supporter for awhile, having been a converted democrat myself, but he has been a little strident lately and he made himself right by this:

mrs.oldlady 2

watched a pbs doc on late night pioneers, i.e. allen, parr, carson. apparently all pbs programs have now been scored and produced by ken burns. long, romantic strings-laden soundtracks, black and white stills, poured over by a compassionate camera shot, etc. gettysburg is now replaced by burbank; a shot of johnny or dean smoking, with some wistful photo-shopping. then it donned on me. i watched johnny carson. i was alive and an active viewer. i stayed up too late on a school night and commented on his unfortunate outfits. and now i'm watching a sweeping "documentary" on "television hosts". i have friends who look at him like i looked at jack parr. or jackie gleason. or redd skelton. or ernie kovacs. THOSE guys. those OLD guys that my dad loved and told me were great.
oh well. i also have friends who missed an awesome bicentennial. can't wait for that documentary.

creepy old men

watched "venus" last night. heard so much about peter o'toole's performance that i thought it was a must see. words like "heart-breaking" and "the best of his career" and "sly" and "winsome" were bandied about. he was nominated for an oscar for it. i think o'toole is one of the finest (still) living actors out there. the mere fact that he is still alive after a lifetime of living on booze, pussy and cigarettes is praise-worthy enough. he deserves the statue just for that.
but i have to say, that movie was just down-right creepy. i'm all for randy old men lusting after totally hot fresh tail (lolita is a favorite, not to mention lost in translation) but this was a lesson in queasiness. not to mention there was a scene involving toe-nail cutting. it was practically a horror film. hostel has nothing on this flick.
the only thing that saved it for me was an extra interview with o'toole in which he described the film as this:
"it's about a dirty old man and a slutty young girl." and old man feet. yeeesssh.

ringin in the new yearz/mrs old lady

so, after ringing in the new year with some close girlfriends, i got home at a reasonable hour and headed for my jammies. but before i could even make it up my steps to my apt. i was confronted with "loud-girl-in-the-hall-drinking-and-spilling-her-beer-and-falling-down-the-steps-girl." conversation went like this:
Mrs. Lady (me): are you ok?
LGINTHDASHBAFDTSG: yeah, i'm just glaahd i dont live heeeerrrre.
Mrs. Lady: um, well, honey, I do.
LGINTHDASHBAFDTSG: oh, srrorry, i'll clean thirrs up. (puke).
and the end.
until, Mrs. Lady had to go up to the boyz party upstairs at 4 am. (LGINTHDASHBAFDTSG was at the party downstairs).
apparently, guitar-hero is now cool in williamzburg.
here's the deal. nirvana was fine. lerved em. back in the day. i wore flannel, for christ sake. but not when 23 yahoos upstairs who probably were not even alive when kobain offed himself are jumping up and down to a tv and a fake guitar with surround sound and shit falls off my walls.
i've decided to get my own guitar-hero, but will fill it with pet the cat music. and i will start cranking joni mitchell 3 chord power jam to Both Sides Now at outrageous times like 3:30 pm when those tired, over-coked out kids are just getting to sleep.
mrs. lady, will be up, in her robe, sewing sailor suits for her cat.
tip of the hat for "Mrs. Lady" to eben.