double feature review

thanks to the lax/we could give a shit staff, it's pretty easy to catch a few movies at the 34th street cineplex.
ps. spoiler alert.

1. wall-e:
totally was digging the first part of the movie. i really love big city ghost town movies. at the beginning. then everything always falls to shit. kept thinking this is a movie for adults. what kid would dig watching man's detritus and hello dolly on vhs? as soon as the e.t. lookin robot and his lady speedstick robot (although she also kind of looked like a travel size vibrator) moved up to the "big ship" it became a boring, trite treatise on man's insatiable consumption. but worse than that, it looked like an episode of jimmy neutron. it could have been that i was a bit perturbed by the guy sitting behind me who was either jerking off or kicking my seat repeatedly. rather than giving him the satisfaction of acknowledging him, i moved my seat halfway thru. i really showed him.
anyway, after we have seen the devastation on earth, the toxic dust clouds and storms, the lack of any moving water, except maybe toxic rain, the writer has all the fat jimmy neutrons, who by the way have lost their bone mass, fly back to earth. i'd be like, listen yo, can't we just get some calcium and an exercise bike on this ship?

2. batman deux.
ums, ok. was kind of looking forward to this one. and after my very easy transition into said movie, was settled in for some good old fashioned "blow that shit up."
well the "dark night" is a good moniker, for it looks like it was lit by a mag lite that's juice is running low. and what is it with the batman's voice? does batman have throat cancer? shouldn't he see someone about that? i mean, he's batman, he's gotta have insurance.
also, i have a hard time watching "the sad cartoon turtle"/maggie gyllenhaal since secretary. it's like watching paint dry. with bad posture.
the bloviated story line of anarchy/terrorism/fear mongering/invasion of civil rights felt like an episode of frontline.
don't get me wrong, lots of stuff got blowed up. but it just wasn't that much fun.
i'm all for dark, twisted storylines. but this was so convoluted that i could barely follow it. the best part of the movie was when the batcycle did a 180 at a wall.
ok, so now is the part where i'm supposed to say how fantastic heath ledger was. well, he was. mr. ledger was a gifted, smart, extremely talented actor. he shows his chops in this movie and he is the best thing in it.(except for that batcycle bit.) but i don't understand all the reviews that extol him for going "so dark." freddy krueger was dark. that dude from saw was dark. that spanish dude in pan's labyrinth was dark. they are all great performances. i think mr. ledger was doing his job well. and i think he should be remembered, albeit posthumously, for that. it is a shame that this movie left him, literally, hung out to dry.
andtheend.